Dating Quotes
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If you think there are no new frontiers,
watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.
I've been on so many blind dates,
I should get a free dog.
I once dated a girl on the track team.
It didn't work out.
She kept giving me the runaround.
I date this girl for two years
- and then the nagging starts:
I wanna know your name.
How many of you have ever started dating
because you were too lazy to commit suicide?
Whenever I want a really nice meal,
I start dating again.
I'm dating a woman now who,
evidently, is unaware of it.
Dating is just awkward moments
and one person wants more than the other.
It's just that constant strangeness.
I think it's a very real thing.
Let's face it:
a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night.
The only difference between a date and a job interview is:
not many job-interviews is there a chance
you'll end up naked at the end of it.
My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.
Nothing defines humans
better than their willingness
to do irrational things in the pursuit
of phenomenally unlikely payoffs.
This is the principle behind
lotteries, dating, and religion.
My computer dating bureau
came up with a perfect gentleman.
Still, I've got another three goes.
Bisexuality immediately doubles
your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Watching your daughter being collected by her date
feels like handing over a million dollar to a gorilla.
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